The nerdiest place on earth: B-level men’s room

 the nerdiest place on earthI have never seen a place with so much nerdiness-per-square-inch (NSI) as the men’s bathroom* on the B-level of the Regenstein Library**. In addition to the usual penis (and vagina) drawings, a few political thoughts, and a sad piece of Chinese graffiti*** that translates to “the place elder brother went was not the toilet, it was loneliness”, there’s 26 bits of wordplay based on philosophers’ names. It truly is a magnificent and unparalleled piece of art, and I’ve transcribed the entire exchange below, using the canonical numbers written in the stall. You can find the full set of photos here.

  1. You, Kant, always get what you want
  2. But if Hume try sometime you get what you need
  3. I can Berkeley follow these exchanges
  4. You people need to be Locked up
  5. B-level bathroom, 7, 8, 10, 12Stop – you’re making my head spinoza
  6. Yes, we should collectively agree to stop leaving these Marx on the stalls.
  7. I Derrida you dorks to keep this up. I’m under no Deleuzeions about how stupid this is.
  8. There are many Engels from which to view this (refers to #5)
  9. True! They could be in it for the (Walter) Benjamins
  10. What makes you Saussure of that?
  11. Well, it’s clear they’ve dug out a little Nietzsche for themselves
  12. Suck my Dickins
  13. You mother-Foucaults!
  14. Gentlemen, I have a confession: I once tried to Heideggerl [read: 'hide a girl'] in this stall. But she escaped and went on to a great career as a Barthes-ender
  15. B-level bathroom, 9-17(ish)You guys Arendt kidding
  16. I’m a-Freud
  17. You’re so Jung and immature
  18. Husserliously need to relax, maybe w/ a nice cup of Merleau (Ponty)
  19. We surrender! We give up! Auerbachs are against the wall! Mercy!
  20. Let’s stop Adornoing these walls with marks.
  21. Seriously guys. Euripedes lines in front of a girl at a party and she will not be impressed
  22. Also, why didn’t šišek for other options with CAPS[****]?
  23. I hope Descartes them all off to the madhouse.
  24. CAPS Strausses me out
  25. I Gauss you should reFermat your resume.
  26. I’m Thoreauly fed up with it all.

Bonus- some speculation on the state of graffiti in the women’s room (complete with anatomical misunderstanding):

  • Perhaps one of you can tell me, are there these sorts of scribbles in the women’s bathrooms here? I would think so, but I haven’t heard anything.
  • Of course NOT. Everyone knows women are too boring and risk-averse to draw in stalls.
  • Plus they need 2 hands to pee.

* My unisex name, unfortunately, isn’t usually enough to grant me free admission to men’s bathrooms. I went before the library opened, and hoped that no one would come in. I brought a few “Crescat Graffiti” cards to help me plead my case for being a photographer of graffiti rather than being there for any sort of titillating purpose.

** Thanks to Joey Brown for sending me the tip about the B-level men’s room.

*** Thanks to Matthew Felix Sun for the Chinese translation help!

**** CAPS: UofC’s Career Advising and Planning Services

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