The following is a transcription of all the numbered graffiti that makes up the (mostly) philosopher wordplay collection in the first stall of the B-level men’s room. Links take you to Wikipedia articles on the relevant philosophers.
1. You, Kant, always get what you want
2. But if Hume try sometime you get what you need
3. I can Berkeley follow these exchanges
4. You people need to be Locked up
5. Stop – you’re making my head spinoza
6. Yes, we should collectively agree to stop leaving these Marx on the stalls.
7. I Derrida you dorks to keep this up. I’m under no Deleuzeions about how stupid this is.
8. There are many Engels from which to view this (refers to #5)
9. True! They could be in it for the (Walter) Benjamins
10. What makes you Saussure of that?
11. Well, it’s clear they’ve dug out a little Nietzsche for themselves
12. Suck my Dickins
13. You mother-Foucaults!
14. Gentlemen, I have a confession: I once tried to Heideggerl [read: 'hide a girl'] in this stall. But she escaped and went on to a great career as a Barthes-ender
15. You guys Arendt kidding
16. I’m a-Freud
17. You’re so Jung and immature
18. Husserliously need to relax, maybe w/ a nice cup of Merleau (Ponty)
19 We surrender! We give up! Auerbachs are against the wall! Mercy!
20. Let’s stop Adornoing these walls with marks.
21. Seriously guys. Euripedes lines in front of a girl at a party and she will not be impressed
22. Also, why didn’t šišek for other options with CAPS [UofC's Career Advising and Planning Services]?
23. I hope Descartes them all off to the madhouse
24. CAPS Strausses me out
25. I Gauss you should reFermat your resume.
26. I’m Thoreauly fed up with it all.
27. Comte your sense, people, and put away your pens!
28. Holbach your marks, you’re going to ruin the Staël! (Addendum: I’ve been Habermas self a good time reading this.)
29. Jeez, it stinks in here. Can somebody turn the Fanon?
30. Thank you all, I really like having something to Reid Weil I’m on the toilet.
30. If only I Caird … but alas, I have no Hart. [Underneath and referencing 22-26]
31. Good thing I found this place; I’ve been Bordieut of my mind. (Addendum: I can’t take y’Althusser-iously … you Kant even spell.)
32. Don’t you guys think you should work on your Sch(p)elling?
33. Can this go on for much Langer?
34. Aw, don’t get all Ryled up.
35. I’ve been Turing all the library bathrooms and this one is definitely Laplace to be.
36. [Mostly erased] Each one … and I don’t want to start and B- … but I’m now going to UN … and Hobbes’le out of here.
36. Sounds like somebody’s enjoying the Bachelard life, eh? [Referencing #14]
37. I also disagree that this is the most Parsons-monious answer.
38. I Ayn(t) impressed with all these Rand(om) thoughts.
39. Jeez, it stinks in here. Can somebody turn the Fanon?
This has all been Said before.
(another) 34. When Jaque-ing off on stall walls, try to stay Lacanic!
FLAGS (under a drawing of a penis with a flag on top)
Other discussions
Girls’ graffiti habits
Perhaps one of you can tell me, are there these sorts of scribbles in the women’s bathrooms here? I would think so, but I haven’t heard anything.
- Of course NOT. Everyone knows women are too boring and risk-averse to draw in stalls.
- Plus they need 2 hands to pee.
- Pee-ing does not take long enough to write on the stalls, and women don’t poop.
B-level men’s bathroom on Flickr
