I have never seen a place with so much nerdiness-per-square-inch (NSI) as the men’s bathroom* on the B-level of the Regenstein Library**. In addition to the usual penis (and vagina) drawings, a few political thoughts, and a sad piece of Chinese graffiti*** that translates to “the place elder brother went was not the toilet, it was loneliness”, there’s 26 bits of wordplay based on philosophers’ names. It truly is a magnificent and unparalleled piece of art, and I’ve transcribed the entire exchange below, using the canonical numbers written in the stall. You can find the full set of photos here.
- You, Kant, always get what you want
- But if Hume try sometime you get what you need
- I can Berkeley follow these exchanges
- You people need to be Locked up
- Stop – you’re making my head spinoza
- Yes, we should collectively agree to stop leaving these Marx on the stalls.
- I Derrida you dorks to keep this up. I’m under no Deleuzeions about how stupid this is.
- There are many Engels from which to view this (refers to #5)
- True! They could be in it for the (Walter) Benjamins
- What makes you Saussure of that?
- Well, it’s clear they’ve dug out a little Nietzsche for themselves
- Suck my Dickins
- You mother-Foucaults!
- Gentlemen, I have a confession: I once tried to Heideggerl [read: 'hide a girl'] in this stall. But she escaped and went on to a great career as a Barthes-ender
- You guys Arendt kidding
- I’m a-Freud
- You’re so Jung and immature
- Husserliously need to relax, maybe w/ a nice cup of Merleau (Ponty)
- We surrender! We give up! Auerbachs are against the wall! Mercy!
- Let’s stop Adornoing these walls with marks.
- Seriously guys. Euripedes lines in front of a girl at a party and she will not be impressed
- Also, why didn’t šišek for other options with CAPS[****]?
- I hope Descartes them all off to the madhouse.
- CAPS Strausses me out
- I Gauss you should reFermat your resume.
- I’m Thoreauly fed up with it all.
Bonus- some speculation on the state of graffiti in the women’s room (complete with anatomical misunderstanding):
- Perhaps one of you can tell me, are there these sorts of scribbles in the women’s bathrooms here? I would think so, but I haven’t heard anything.
- Of course NOT. Everyone knows women are too boring and risk-averse to draw in stalls.
- Plus they need 2 hands to pee.
* My unisex name, unfortunately, isn’t usually enough to grant me free admission to men’s bathrooms. I went before the library opened, and hoped that no one would come in. I brought a few “Crescat Graffiti” cards to help me plead my case for being a photographer of graffiti rather than being there for any sort of titillating purpose.
** Thanks to Joey Brown for sending me the tip about the B-level men’s room.
*** Thanks to Matthew Felix Sun for the Chinese translation help!
**** CAPS: UofC’s Career Advising and Planning Services